


Feeling Without Words

by aceklaviergavin



Category: Tales of Zestiria
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Aromantic Rose, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Queerplatonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-19 19:02:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8221550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aceklaviergavin/pseuds/aceklaviergavin
Summary: The only word Rose has to describe her feelings is "broken."





	

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in like an hour between classes

Rose sat on the terrace in Pendrago, a crisp sheet of paper clasped in her unsteady hands. She smoothed out an uneven crease, tried to refold it, and the wind nearly tore the paper from her hands.

Lailah was always better at this.

Lailah with delicate hands, always folding clean lines in stark contrast to her delicate curves. The moonlight gleamed on the curve of her neck that night in Lastonbell, when Lailah had taken Rose’s hands, set them ablaze and said…

Rose shook her head, because the whole point had been to _stop_ thinking about Lailah.

Lailah had said: _I’m grateful for whatever twist of fate brought us together_ , and Rose had nearly fallen off the tower because no one had ever said something so… so…

Lailah was beautiful. Looking every bit as elegant as the Lady of the Lake of legend should be. But Rose knew better, that behind that elegance was a soft heart and a smile so radiant it burned her to ash. Truly, Rose had never stood a chance. There was an ember in her chest just starting to burn, and Rose knew, _hoped_ , that Lailah felt it, too.

And that was where the trouble started.

“Something on your mind, Rose?”

She jumped in her seat, crumbling the paper in her hands. “Jeez, Lailah, warn a girl next time!”

Lailah’s only response was to giggle, unwittingly stoking the fire in Rose’s chest. She took a seat beside Rose, the long trail of her skirt pooled beneath her.

“You weren’t riding around in my head were you?” Rose asked, dread crawling up her spine at the thought of Lailah being witness to _that_.

“No, I gathered you could use some space.” Rose was ever grateful for that. “What were you trying to make?” Lailah nods at the paper in Rose’s hands.

Rose looks at the lumpy, uneven mass in her hands. A master of paper crafts she was not. “I’m not sure. I was hoping I might be able to make one of your fortunes.”

“Only _I_ can make those, silly,” Lailah admonished. She took the paper from Rose’s limp hands; long fingers brushed against Rose’s skin, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.

Rose watched as Lailah slowly set to work, smoothing the paper out on her knee. A moment of silence passed between them, broken only by the wind and the brush of Lailah’s hands on paper.

“What fortune were you seeking?” Lailah finally asked, making her first fold.

Rose swallowed thickly, staring at Lailah’s hands. She could always lie, brush it off and pretend it was nothing. But then where would she be? If there was anything her journey had taught her, it was that her friends were worth trusting.

“Well, it was about you.” Rose’s mouth went dry. “About us.”

Lailah hummed her acknowledgment, intensely focused on the craft in her hands.

Rose folded her arms, trying to hide her shaking hands. “There is an ‘us,’ right? I’m not just imagining things?”

Rose was good at reading people. She _knew_ that. She had to be, with her dual jobs and all the people she had to judge at a second’s notice. But even so, she feared that she’d misread something along the way, that she’d gotten her head and her heart mixed up.

Lailah continued folding, seemingly unaffected by Rose’s rambling save for the blush across her nose. “There is.”

Rose felt a wave of relief at being right, followed immediately by a seizing vice in her chest. This was the part where everything started to go wrong.

“That’s good, I’m—I’m glad,” Rose stuttered.

“Is that all you were seeking?”

Rose hugged herself tightly, dread threatening to swallow her whole. “No.”

Lailah continued her work, giving Rose space to continue.

Rose took a deep breath. “I’ve tried this with other people before,” she admitted. “But it never worked out. They always…” There’s a tightness in her throat as she struggles to admit her failings. “They always wanted something from me that I couldn’t give.”

The admission hurt, it made her chest seize up and her breath stop in her throat. As much as she tried to forgo romance and supplant it with the friends she’d traveled with and her family in the Scattered Bones, it hurt to admit it had never been by choice. There was something wrong with her, and that missing piece she could never give was a dagger in her heart.

When Rose dared to glance at Lailah, she was met with those wide green eyes, Lailah’s fingers finally stilled. “And you worry that I’d ask this of you?”

Rose could see the hurt in Lailah’s eyes, but also the struggle to understand. “Yes? Maybe?” Rose wasn’t entirely sure what her fear was. It was a feeling she struggled to put into words. “I’ve never been ‘in love,’ not the way other people are.” She took a moment to look at Lailah, just _look_. Her cheeks were flushed, long hair trailing over one shoulder and Rose just wanted to _reach out_ and _touch_. “You’re _beautiful_ , Lailah. And I don’t know that I could give you what you want.” _What she needs, deserves._

Lailah tilted her head curiously, looking at Rose with those ancient eyes. In these moments, Rose was most reminded that Lailah is a seraph, watching Rose through eyes that have seen civilizations rise and fall. “Shouldn’t I be the one to decide what I want?”

“Of course, but… what if someday you want more? I don’t want you to wake up one day and realize you made a mistake because I’m br—” Rose stopped herself.

There was a heavy silence as the word Rose had almost said passed between them. _Broken_. Lailah’s fingers trembled as she made the final fold in her origami rose. “But you want to be with me?”

“Yes.”

Lailah cupped the paper rose in her palms as if it were crystal. The petals were still rough where Rose had crumpled it. Lailah could work for hours and never smooth those edges out. She smiled wistfully, her heart caught in her throat. “And is it alright if I love you?”

Rose ached at the word that she had never fully understood. “Of course, I can’t ask you to stop.” A wet spot bloomed on the rose in Lailah’s hands, and Rose realized she was crying. Hurting Lailah was exactly what she’d been afraid of. “Lailah, I’m—”

Lailah shook her head, putting a finger against Rose’s lips. “It’s not because of that. It’s because all this time you’ve been hurting and I had no idea.” Lailah’s voice wavered. “Who ever told you you were broken?”

Rose didn’t know what to say, how did she explain that no one had ever _needed_ to? “No one, I just know. I’m not like everyone else.”

“No, you are you. You are Rose, perfectly whole and _enough_.” Lailah gently brushed Rose’s hair from her face, tucking in the paper rose behind her ear. “Rose is Rose, remember?”

Rose’s skin simmered where Lailah touched her. “If I never fall in love, you’d be okay with that?”

Lailah moved to cover Rose’s hand with her own. “I’d never ask more from you than you could give,” she promised. “My feelings for you are enough.”

Butterflies hammered in Rose’s chest as she slowly turned her hand over, threading their fingers together.

Lailah stared fondly at their joined hands. “You’re alright with this?”

“Yeah,” Rose breathed.

“And…” Lailah slowly leaned forward, closing the distance between them until their foreheads touched, the curve of their lips just barely brushing. “This?”

Rose’s face was on fire as she pressed forward, tangling her free hand in Lailah’s hair.

Rose’s entire body sang as flames raced across her bones. In the back of her head she heard a soft voice that wasn’t her own. _You are enough. You are enough._

 

**Author's Note:**

> Rose is an aro lesbian
> 
> [Fic Info and Requests](https://aceyuurikatsuki.tumblr.com/fic)


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